Thursday, February 4, 2010

Burgers for Dinner: Catch and Release

If you can't tell by the little pitiful sick-looking troll doll duck dust bunny wad of grass creature in the post below, I've been kind of  
{OUT OF IT} 
this week.

[Quick thanks to Mr. Dot for hopping online Sunday night and posting that for me so no one thought I drowned in cupcake batter]
•••
[Another quick moment to think about how awesome it would be to drown in cupcake batter]

Death by Cupcake.

Bring it on.

Sunday, though, did not feel like "Death by Cupcake."  Sunday just felt like death.

Thanks to a [poorly cooked?] hamburger eaten the night before at a local joint down the street, I spent over 17 hours hugging the porcelain throne [of death].

Dramatization:
Gracias, Altered Barbie

Though at the time I found nothing especially enlightening about the whole situation, now that I have regained my sea land-legs, I am trying to gain a fresh perspective.

Therefore, I'm actually thankful for the tainted  
||BURGER-of-DOOM||
because:

•  I lost 4 pounds (which I may or may not have gained back since I've begun eating again) 
(read: since I've been able to keep more than a single Wheat Thin in my stomach)
•  I gained a personal, one-on-one relationship with the floor just under the sink ledge that I did not have before
(and have subsequently Swiffered, sprayed, and washed every inch of it thoroughly)
•  I am no longer tempted by the thought of eating burgers or fries
(at least, for the time being...)

For a while there, in fact, I actually considered that perhaps the  
VSTADAEOOWT Diet 
["Vomit-Seven-Times-A-Day-And-Eat-Only-One-Wheat-Thin" Diet]
 was going to be the diet for me, but then I remembered one key thing:

I like food going down better than coming back up.

Ah well, can't win 'em all.

[]

In the meantime, though -- keep your fingers crossed and do that praying thing again.  I had a second interview at a bakery down the street (not this cupcake place, though -- they're still not open!  Dunno what's going on there...) that I'm so excited about.  I've been trying to get my resume in there since we first moved up here and all of a sudden they started hiring just a couple weeks ago so the timing was perfect.  I should hear back sometime tomorrow or Saturday.

GAH!!

12 comments:

  1. OMG, dude, puking is THE WORST THING EVER TO HAPPEN IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE.

    I would not wish it on my worst of enemies and I certainly wouldn't wish it on my friend :(.

    I'm glad you're feeling better... and, a cupcake shop called CUPCAKE LAND?! I'm moving!!

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  2. bless your heart, glad you are feeling better. I have been on that diet a few times in my life and if I get sick enough to puke then Phenegran is in my future/. I am surprised they let you stay puking for that long usually they say 24 hours is the max length anyone should be vomiting at that pace.. glad to see you back and praying for the interview

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  3. Glad to hear you are feeling better, sounds like you had a rough week.


    Oh and I hope your cupcake place opens up soon. We have a place here: http://www.lucyandleoscupcakery.com they have AMAZING cupcakes and the cutest little shop!

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  4. Ugh! So sorry to hear you were so ill. Loved your dramatization though! Best of luck with the bakery job. Hope it leads to lots of fun and good adventure!

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  5. Thinking of you my barftastic little friend. Glad you are on the mend.

    Unless this new cupcake place is run by a bunch of nutters, you are a destined for (paid) cupcake-making glory. Besides who on earth could turn away someone as lovely as thee???

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  6. Glad your feeling better! and good luck with the interview!

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  7. SUPER happy to hear you're on the mend. And I'm totally still praying for you that you get a fabulous job you actually like!

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  8. You poor thing! I hope you feel better soon. When you do let's go to that one place. Good luck on your 2nd interview. P.S I left you a little something on my blog.

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  9. I am sorry you went through all that BUT YOU ARE SO FUNNY You had me laughing so much about it all!

    Mr. Dot was very kind indeed letting us know you weren't feeling well!

    Happy Friday for you!

    Paloma.

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  10. SO glad you liked your award! You deserve it.

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  11. First of all, you can't afford to lose more than 4 pounds. You better start double fistin those cupcakes...

    and WOOOOO-HOOOO on the job.

    I can feel the energy. Somethin' bigs a happenin...lots of prayers and positive thoughts. Can't wait to hear the good news.

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  12. Hilarious dramatization! I once was off burgers and fries for two years from a similar experience. Unfortunately they have since re-entered my life.

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